Finding Joy When Life Is Hard: When Joy Feels Far Away
- Sandy Kusano
- Dec 7, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: Dec 21, 2025
When Joy Feels Far Away, Nothing Is “Wrong” With You
If joy feels far away right now, you’re not broken. You’re not failing. And you’re definitely not alone.
There are seasons in life when joy feels inaccessible—not because we’ve done anything wrong, but because we’re human navigating change, uncertainty, and emotional load.
This post expands on Episode 1 of the Joyful Optimist Podcast, where I share a season when joy felt far from reach—even while my life looked “good” from the outside.
Finding Joy When Life Is Hard. What Does It Mean When Joy Feels Far Away?
When joy feels far away, it usually means your nervous system is under stress. It’s a sign you’re in a season of transition, uncertainty, or emotional fatigue—not that you’re incapable of joy.
Joy doesn’t disappear forever. But access to it can shrink when your system is prioritizing safety.
Finding joy when life is hard requires a different kind of strength—the willingness to slow down, feel what’s real, and choose compassion over judgment.
Why Is It Harder to Feel Joy During Life Transitions?
When life feels uncertain, the brain shifts into survival mode.
Instead of curiosity and presence, we experience:
Self-judgment
Fatigue
Emotional numbness
Anxiety or shutdown
Joy becomes harder to access—not because it’s gone, but because the nervous system is focused on protection.
This is where mental fitness becomes essential.
What Is Mental Fitness?
Mental fitness is your ability to meet life’s challenges with clarity, resilience, and compassion instead of stress, reactivity, or self-criticism.
It’s not about being positive all the time. It’s about having the stamina to stay present—even when things feel messy.
Through my work with Positive Intelligence®, I’ve learned that joy isn’t a personality trait—it’s a practice we build over time.
“You Teach This Stuff… So Why Can’t You Feel Joy?”
This was the inner critic that showed up for me during a tender season.
Plans dissolved. A major move fell through. My nervous system felt threatened.
And the voice said:
If you coach people on joy, why can’t you access it yourself?
The answer that changed everything was simple: Because I am human.
Struggle doesn’t disqualify you from joy. It invites you back into relationship with yourself.
How Do You Reconnect With Joy When You Feel Stuck?
Joy doesn’t return in a tidal wave. It returns in ripples.
Start small:
Notice the sound of birds
Feel your feet on the ground
Take one conscious breath
Step outside for fresh air
These moments bring you out of your head and back into presence.
Reflection (Journal or Quiet Moment)
When life feels heavy and joy feels far away…what helps you come back to yourself, even a little?
There’s no right answer. Just notice what already supports you.
An Invitation
If this resonates, listen to Episode 1: When Joy Feels Far Away
And if you’re navigating a transition and want support rebuilding joy, clarity, and resilience:
If this question of joy has you rethinking your entire definition of success, you may want to read the companion piece: A Different Definition of Wealth
FAQ: Joy & Mental Fitness
Q: Is it normal to feel disconnected from joy even when life looks good?
A: Yes. External success doesn’t guarantee nervous system safety or emotional fulfillment.
Q: Does struggling mean I’m doing something wrong?
A: No. Struggle is often a sign of growth or transition—not failure.
Q: Can joy be practiced?
A: Absolutely. Joy strengthens through presence, compassion, and mental fitness practices.
Don’t wait for the magic… be the magic.
— Sandy Kusano, True Wealth Coach & Host of the Joyful Optimist Podcast
✨ Want to sit with this a little longer?
This post offers a snapshot — the full episode creates space to breathe, reflect, and remember that joy is still available, even in hard seasons.
💛 If life feels heavy right now…
You don’t have to navigate it alone. Coaching is a place to slow down, reconnect with yourself, and rebuild joy from the inside out.
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